Telling Secrets…

It’s one of the more common occurrences for Amicus staff or volunteers.

When someone hears about the type of work we do at Amicus, a look comes over his or her face as they decide whether to bring something up. Then their voice often lowers and they look a little embarrassed as they speak about their relative or friend who’s either serving time in a correctional facility or is having a hard time getting their life together after being released. The closer the friend or relative is, the more pain is involved as they relate the story and ask if there’s anything we can do to help.

More often than not, the answer from Amicus is yes. If we can’t help directly, we can usually refer the person to another organization which will be able to, so it’s good to see the tense look on our friends’ faces change into something resembling relief.

We’re glad to help of course but the interaction is also troubling in that it points to some thoughtless public attitudes.

I want to tell those who are asking about our resources that there is no reason to feel alone in their concerns. The United States of America jails more of its citizens per capita than any other society in the world. According to the Pew Center on the States, more than 1 out of every 100 American adults is now confined in prison. One in 30 men between the ages of 20 and 34 are incarcerated and one in nine black males in that age group are behind bars.

When one looks at those statistics isn’t it safe to assume that most of us have at least one friend, former co-worker or relative who is currently incarcerated? Rather than feeling shame for being associated with someone in that position, I wish those seeking our help could feel a little pride in the fact that they’re one of the relatively few people who haven’t abandoned the 1.6 million Americans currently in prison.

Amicus is beginning to work with a support group for family members of those in prison and we recognize this as a place where much progress could be made.

If we get past the stigma, I think people would be amazed at how much mutual support there would be for the family members and friends of those incarcerated. Maybe then we’d be able to look each other in the eye and ask ourselves not what’s wrong with our families, but rather, how can we support each other, as those we love do the hard work necessary to change their lives.